Normal
by Dinemenel
Summary: "Nothing feels...normal", Sixteen was right. He was surprised at how real everything felt. With the animus, he was still detached. He could clearly feel the hard metal of the table or the cushion of the chair on which he lay. Here there was no chair or table beneath him. There was only the cold winds of winter in Masyaf, so different from the high summer when he was Altaïr


"Everything changes," was what Sixteen said, "Nothing feels... _normal_."

Sixteen was right. And not. When he began to work through Ezio's memories he was surprised at how real everything felt. With the animus, he was still detached. He could clearly feel the hard metal of the table or the cushion of the chair on which he lay. Here he felt everything. There was no chair or table beneath him. There was only the cold winds of winter in Masyaf, so different from the high summer when he was Altaïr.

He felt the weariness of Ezio's old bones. He was tired.

"Everything used to be so easy."

He could feel every injury like it was his own. And with each man that fell to his blade, he felt the blood. He could see the light leave their eyes and it unnerved him. In this quest to reclaim his mind he felt like he was losing himself even more. Each time he closed a man's eyes he muttered a quiet " _requiescat in pace_ " in his mind. With each body, he understood a bit more why he said it. It soaked into his bones. The knowledge that everyone deserves respect in death.

When Ezio finally catches up with Leandros, it's not just Ezio complaining.

"Do you ever stop whining?" and then his blade is buried in his chest and he is sliding it out. Desmond is there and not there. Until he hears the voices. He thinks he knows them so he reaches; he reaches far past where he should go, ignoring any warnings from Sixteen.

Then he's torn back - and oh, the pain - feeling like his mind is being ripped in two. After that, he resolves to keep to his space and ignore any of the voices.

There were good parts to it as well. He could feel the sun beating down on him and he could smell the fresh air. A true luxury after being cooped up in a cave for several weeks. He lost himself several times in the roads of Konstantiniyye, marveling at the details which made his previous experiences in the animus look like an out of focus distorted mess.

He enjoyed himself, despite initial uneasiness about how involved he was. With Yusuf, he was rarely bored and the new blade style was something to be explored. A hook blade.

"When an Assassin tires of walking he must take to the air"

And Desmond knows in that moment when he first ziplines down to Yusuf, he has never been freer. Of course, there are Leaps of Faith, but they are just that. Faith. There's always a bit of uncertainty. Here on these ziplines he truly flies free.

And it is strange because while he knows he is Desmond Miles, Bartender turned Assassin, he is also Ezio. And being Ezio is somehow easier. With Ezio,there's no technology to hide his face from, lest Templars see him on a camera. With Ezio there is no possibility of being ripped away from all that Ezio - that he - knows and thrust into a world he will never understand. (and he _has_ tried to understand he tells himself). And so, Desmond hides. He becomes Ezio. He writes to Claudia telling him of his attempts to find the Masyaf Keys. Of Yusuf and the Ottoman Assassins. And of employing the help of a smart ( _beautiful_ ) young woman named Sofia Sartor to find the Keys.

Sofia. She is nearly 20 years his junior but still, he finds himself drawn to her, like a moth to a flame. He can only hope in the back of his mind that he is not burned. And she is brilliant too. She reads voraciously and has a remarkable memory for details.

At last, he finds the first Key through her shop. Hidden away in the Yerebatan Cistern. Then the visions come and suddenly, he is reminded that he is not Ezio. He is Desmond. With perfect clarity, he can feel Ezio and Altaïr. Then both he and Ezio are shoved into Altaïr's mind and the world returns to normal. Now he is no longer old and weary. He is young and full of brash confidence ( _arrogance_ a voice whispers but he ignores it)

In these moments he has never felt closer to Altaïr. Here it is just as clear as Istanbul is to him and he follows as Altaïr drives off the attackers and saves the Mentor. Traitor. And Desmond tries to turn away. He tries to stop Altaïr and save everyone from the suffering that the Man will cause. But history has already happened and there's no changing it now. As Altaïr and the Mentor walk off towards the dwindling battle, Ezio (and Desmond, always Desmond) are thrust back into his body.

It unnerves them, both Ezio and Desmond. What these Keys might represent. The Ones Who Came Before. Gods, some might say. Others might call them Monsters.

In the end, his troubles are put aside. He focuses on the city and helping Yusuf make it as safe as possible for the Assassins who call the place home. When he hears that the young prince's life might be in danger and that the others are going to help him, his mind immediately jumps to the palace. The stone mason had said that the Templars found a Key there. Right under Topkapı. Perhaps he can find out how they found it, and where.

He regrets his thoughts instantly when he sees the boy. And he is a boy, make no mistake. An intelligent and sensible boy if he remembers correctly from the boat journey. But still. He is no older than he was when his father and brothers died (an old scar across his heart twinges. He has lost too many people in his life).

In saving Suleiman, however, he has gained an ally. Sometimes he wonders if he will ever be surprised again with the things he's seen. Then Suleiman tells him to kill the Janissary captain, Tarik Barleti. So, he does. Without question, without trying to find out whether or not the man is truly guilty. With his dying breaths, Tarik instills a greater shame than any he has felt before.

Innocent.

Innocent.

He was _innocent_.

And still, he killed him. All that work that went into making the city safe and now the Janissaries will kill any assassin on sight because of his actions. Ezio cannot tolerate such a mistake, and so throws himself into finding the last of the Keys. He learns of Altaïr's trials and his life. What a hard life for someone so young.

"Only twenty-six and already mentor of a crumbling order"

He travels to Cappadocia. Ahmet is a traitor. The Templars besiege one of their dens, after kidnapping Sofia and killing Yusuf.

"Liberty can be messy, Ahmet. But it is priceless."

Ahmet kidnaps Sofia and demands the Keys for her life.

 _Stay your blade from the flesh of the innocent._

Where there are innocents he will try to protect them. So he gives up the keys. He gives up any hope of opening Altaïr's library for the life of an innocent woman. They regain the keys. The new Sultan kills Ahmet, and Ezio escapes the same fate only by the friendship of Suleiman.

At the end of it all, he wonders. What was it all for?

* * *

Desmond is once again thrust back to the island. This time though, a collapsing world greets him. Clay turns on the spot as if admiring the destruction.

"This is the end Desmond. Scheduled for deletion."

Clay runs up and hugs Desmond, uncaring of the world falling to pieces around them. He feels less, there. It's the best explanation that Desmond can come up with, but it works.

"What is a man but the sum of his memories? We are the stories we live! The tales we tell ourselves!"

 _He's insane._

Desmond tries to get free but Clay isn't having any of it. Until suddenly Clay releases him and shoves him towards the nexus. In a last moment of clarity, Clay shouts at him.

"I'm saving you, idiot! GO!"

Desmond stumbles away, towards the gate as Clay disintegrates. By the time he looks back, Clay is no more.

* * *

 _What was it all for?_

As he walks through Masyaf, talking to the brilliant woman beside him, he thinks he begins to understand. As if he can sense the end of the journey nearing, Desmond stirs from under Ezio. He listens to Ezio explain their Creed. She is right he muses as she wonders at the cynicism of the Creed. But he explains, as patiently as he can.

"It is merely an observation on the nature of reality. To say that nothing is true is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile and that we must the shepherds of our own civilization. To say that everything is permitted is to understand that we are the architects of our actions and that we must live with our consequences, whether glorious or tragic."

He enters the main fortress and memories stir. Of battles and of family. Of Betrayal and Love. Ezio and Desmond collectively shake their head, ignoring memories that aren't theirs (but they feel so right; like they belong). As the door to the library opens and he descends into the fabled library, a weight lifts from Ezio. The last burden on his shoulders, gone.

"No books, no wisdom. Just you _fratello mio_ "

" _Requiescat in pace_ Altaïr."

The room is empty. There is nothing but a skeleton dressed in the fine robes of a Mentor, clutching at a glowing disk. One last memory. In this Altaïr is old, much older than Ezio. They all know that this, this last desperate memory is the end of the road. As the wizened Mentor of the Levantine Assassins hobbles through the drafty passage one last time, snippets of recollections float through the air.

" _It must stay hidden, Darim. Far from eager hands. At least until it has passed on the secret it contains."_

" _All that is good in me, began with you, father." a hug, a final farewell. He will never see his son in this world again._

 _"For in much wisdom, is much grief, and he that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow."_

" _Forgive me for this Mentor, but the Apple corrupted you. And through you, it would have corrupted us... for us to live you had to die."_

" _What does it tell you? What do you see?" Maria is there beside him._

" _Strange visions and messages. Of ones who came before, of their rise, and their fall..."_

" _But what does the Apple say about us Altaïr? To our family! What does the Apple say? "_

" _Who were the ones who came before? What brought them here? How long ago?" he ignores her questions._

" _Get rid of that thing!"_

" _This is my duty Maria!" what duty? His duty should have been to destroy it, but now he is overruled by his curiosity. Her presence disappears from his side._

" _Maria? Where...where are you? Where is she?!" the cry is fierce, but underneath it, a current of childlike fear runs under it, like a child asking for its mother._

" _Gone, father. You do not remember? She is gone!" It is an ugly truth spat in his face. Darim wants his father back. Not this hollow shell of a man._

" _If you are asked, Say I sent the Apple away. Tell them I sent it to Cyprus or Cipango or that I dropped it into the sea. Tell them anything to keep them away from this place. This Apple must not be found, not until the time is right."_

At last, he can rest. After 92 years of life, he is done. There is nothing left to do but send one final message. He clutches the disc and releases a sigh. With a last peaceful exhale, Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad passes from the world and onto the next.

 _I am coming for you, Maria my love..._

The memory faded and Ezio is left crouching in front of the last remains of the most beloved mentor of the Assassins. He stands and makes his way to where Altaïr had sealed away the Apple. He gazes on the glowing sphere with something akin to awe, yet tempered with the disgust at what this innocuous little thing can do.

At first, there is a brief temptation to take the thing. To see what secrets it holds, but he thinks better of it.

"No, you will stay here. I have seen enough for one life."

The Apple pulses in response, as if in response. Ezio is reminded of another time. Of another temple, and the goddess that resided within. Desmond, however, is panicking as the Apple pulses he is separated from Ezio.

 _Nononononononononono..._

He doesn't want to leave. He wants to stay, he wants to be Ezio and grow old with Sofia and -

"Desmond?"

A voice cuts through his panicked thoughts. _He's talking to me?_

"I heard your name once before, Desmond, a long time ago. And now it lingers in my mind like an image from an old dream." Ezio takes a moment to wonder at the glowing lines that trace over every nook and cranny of the Library. He turns, unknowingly, to face Desmond.

"I do not know where you are, or by what means you can hear me. But I know you are listening." Ezio speaks with a certainty that should not be possible, but it was there. He removes his bracers, one by one, dropping them to the floor. They are followed by his sword. He is done with this life of blood and shadows.

"I have lived my life as best I could, not knowing its purpose, but drawn forward like a moth to a distant moon. And here at last, I discover a strange truth. That I am only a conduit for a message that eludes my understanding. Who are we who have been so blessed to have shared our stories like this? To speak across centuries? Maybe you will answer all the questions I have asked. Maybe you will be the one to make all this suffering worth something in the end."

Ezio places his hand on Desmond's shoulder, and he has but a moment to wonder at the touch before he is drawn away into some strange light.

"Now... listen..."

There is a strange place and a glowing man who looks like Minerva. He tells Desmond about The End, a solar flare. The man shows him what happened. There are bursts of light flashing across the sky, and terrified civilians running from the collapsing buildings. At the center of it all, a mother with her child, newly born but never able to explore the world.

"You must go there. To the place we laboured... laboured and lost. Take my words pass them from your head into your hands, that is how you will open the way. But be warned: much still remains in flux."

Around them the world changed, slowly at first, but then quicker. The burning ground was replaced by black rock, then it, in turn, was replaced by grass. Mountains were created and destroyed; humans came and brought homes and technology. Each season passed, only to be succeeded by the next.

"I do not know how things will end, either in my time or in yours."

The world around him blurred until he couldn't make any sense of it. And he knew then that he was waking up. His eyes opened to see three familiar faces. Shaun, Rebecca, and his dad. William Miles look strangely worried, an expression Desmond never recalled seeing on his stern face.

"I know what we need to do."

No, nothing would be _normal_ anymore.


End file.
